Imposter Syndrome

A good friend told me he has imposter syndrome this week. He’s expanding his business, and whenever he tries to productize his offerings and speak confidently about the results he can bring clients, he falters in self-doubt. Can I really do that? he asks himself. Maybe I’m overpromising.

Turns out imposter syndrome is common, marked by feelings of inadequacy, doubt, and feeling like a ‘wannabe’ or ‘fraud’ who doesn’t deserve our achievements. Oftentimes it comes with the sense that if only people knew the ‘real us,’ they would be shocked by how bad we are.

I was pretty surprised when my friend told me he’s experiencing imposter syndrome because he is, by objective metrics, extraordinarily competent and successful. He’s served dozens of clients in large engagements with impressive companies. So what was causing his self-doubt?

This morning I was stunned reading the Torah portion when I recalled that Moshe is the first person recorded to have experienced imposter syndrome. A wanted culprit for killing an Egyptian taskmaster, Moshe flees Egypt. Arriving in Midian, he gets married and becomes a shepherd. One day he witnesses a startling sight: a bush that is burning but not being consumed. He is shocked by this freak of nature. When God sees Moshe noticing the bush, He calls out: Moshe, Moshe! And Moshe answers: Here I am.

God reveals to Moshe that he is standing in a holy place and he should remove his sandals. He tells Moshe that He is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Intimidated and afraid, Moshe turns his face. God explains: I have seen the affliction of my people in Egypt…and have heard their cry…I know their sorrows…I have come to rescue them…to bring them to a good and spacious land, one flowing with milk and honey…

The Israelites were suffering. They needed help. And God was asking Moshe to rescue them on His behalf: Come, therefore, I will send you to Pharaoh, and you shall free My people, the Israelites, from Egypt.

But Moshe doesn’t accept the mission outright. He doesn’t exactly say no, but he deflects with a question: “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and free the Israelites from Egypt?”

Wait hold on. You’ve just been asked by the Creator of the Universe Himself to do something—rescue your people from slavery no less—and you have the chutzpah to question Him? Sometimes we don’t even have the audacity to question our boss or parents. Let alone God.

But Moshe’s question resonates with us because we too experience imposter syndrome. I know I have. Sometimes before big meetings I even go into the bathroom a strike a ‘power post’ in the mirror and engage in positive self-talk to hype myself up.

Who am I, Moshe asks, to speak with kings? Who am I, to liberate an entire nation? I’m a nobody. I’m a shepherd. Of what importance am I?

How many times have you asked yourself this question? Who am I to lead this project? Who am I to fundraise millions of dollars? Who I am to visit injured soldiers? Who am I to run a company? Who am I to be married to the most beautiful spouse in the world? Who am I to be a good parent? Who am I?

Hard times create strong men (and women), they say, and the war in Israel has done exactly that. An entire nation of young people is rising up with the courage of lions to defend our people. Young people are grabbing the reigns of Israel’s apparatus for the influence of public opinion, collecting equipment and supplies, attending shivas and funerals, digging graves and donating breast milk, taking the helm, taking responsibility and rising to the occasion.

But here’s the thing. Every single soldier and volunteer could say, who am I? I’m 19, who am I to enter Gaza and blow up tunnels? I’m 20, who I am to return artillery fire to Hezbollah. I’m a recent immigrant from New York, who am I to plan a bar mitzvah for a young boy with kind eyes evacuated from Sderot? Who am I?

At first glance, each statement might even be justified. Compared to ‘normal life,’ it is absurd for adolescent young adults to operate tanks and fighter jets. It is insane for 23 year-olds to raise tens of millions of dollars for tactical equipment and protein bars. It’s wild.

So when Moshe asks God ‘Who am I?’ what does He say?

I will be with you.

Have no fear because I will be with you. We are never alone. God accompanies us on our mission. How empowering! How strengthening! How instilling of confidence to take risks, give it a shot, try even when we’re plagued by self-doubt and inadequacy?

Competence flows from action, not the reverse is one of the core ideas in James Clear’s bestselling Atomic Habits. Want to become a musician? Start playing music. Want to become a writer? Start writing. Want to be someone who’s in shape? Start working out. Want to be religious? Start learning. Don’t worry about the identity. It’s not important. What matters is the action. The identity (and competence and confidence) flows from the action.

Combining these two ingredients, we begin to approach a timeless method for assuaging imposter syndrome: (1) Knowing that God is with you always, and if Moshe experienced imposter syndrome, it’s okay if you do too, and (2) Lead with action. Confidence and competence will come as a result. Act now as if you are the person who want to be and see where that takes you.

Shabbat shalom from Jerusalem